Breathing Heavy

I’m running in circles around the quiet padded room of my mind
not in an insane way
in an effort to tire my thoughts out
reeling incessantly through the checklists of propriety
making sure that they are correct,
right,
something set to a standard,
and I can’t fuckin’ write,
it’s all blocked up,

like watching a natural dam of leaves
twigs,
moss,
break off and roll uneasily through a stream
something held back,
now flowing freely
but chunks pushing pieces of soul
out of the way
purifying and
tearing,

Nothing can be reversed

It’s all just counter-clockwise
just feet beating into the squishing room
and my brain is down
melting into the pat-pat
the pat-pat
of my shoes as they hit

I’m breathing heavy, trying for the moment
when it will all give out.