No, No, No.

This is not something that is
said easily,
this separation of two pieces of tape,
torn away from one another,
leaving the residual chemical adhesive
of the other.

The words don’t come simply,
I’m sorry, they usually do,
I’m usually so eloquent with diction.

Right now, all I know is a cold aching
in my chest where the tape was torn away.
Right now, I only feel the
uncontrollable convulsions of a sob
from the gut,
coming from deeper than I had known
this pain to come from.
Seizures that slowly ease me to the floor,
where the alcohol works its emotional course,
(or discourse)
where words previously unspoken fall on
no ears at all.

“No no no no no no no no no no no”
looping
“No NO!”
a pinch to wake up is proven inneffective,
wishing to feel the adhesive of tape
tickling with electricicty against the
beating of the heart.
Knowing deep down that time cannot be unwound,
that chemicals in the brain cannot be
changed so drastically as to induce real love,
that past transgressions are only a matter of perspective.

“No no no no no no, please don’t let her be gone.”
fists sore from tile’s reverberation,
the body falls slowly more out of control.
nothing is voluntary, the roll over,
the rocking, the shaking, the physical manifestation of a withdrawal.

the only thing to do is sit,
let the waves pass,
all things will abate with time.

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