I am not the kind of guy who will stay up at night obsessing over the complexities of a relationship.
I am not the kind of guy who will lay in bed for many long and sleepless hours determining the subtle undertone and subtext behind each word used in shared conversation.
I am not the kind of guy who will refuse incessantly to let go of what is harming him even though he knows time poisons.
Going over the past with a fine, fine tooth comb has never been a nervous habit of mine.
I am not the kind of guy who carefully files away his fears in his head, hoping that they will become simpler and less monstrous with alphabetization. I don’t pray for the world to erase my nervousness at your proximity, I don’t twist my hands into forms that I imagine ours could become, wishing with all my might that I had the power to reach out my fingers bravely toward yours, but
I’m not that kind of guy.
I’m not the kind of guy that walks by your window every night when you’re sleeping just to make sure you didn’t bring someone home because I know you think that guy at your gym has the hots for you.
I talked to him, y’know, I talked to “Broc” and he said that I shouldn’t be asking about you considering the whole gym apparently knows about the restraining order. He also said that his boyfriend wouldn’t take too kindly to a man approaching him in the shower whether he was fully clothed or not.
The point is, Broc doesn’t like you, ok? He’s interested in something that you can’t ever offer so just put it out of your mind.
Also, that guy that you work with, Steven.
Him and his wife have been finally doing well after that whole dinner fiasco where they caught me watching them eat.
I mean if you ask me, Steven was way out of line to call the police like that and who chases a co-workers ex-boyfriend down the street with a baseball bat?
The point is, baby, you and I both know that I’m the only man in your life that has consistently been there for you.
I mean who was there for you when you
needed help shaving your back? Me.
Or when your stepdad told you that your mom was getting a sex change? Me.
Who massages your feet every night while you sleep to make sure that you don’t get too stressed? Me. I even took a course on reflexology so I could be really good at it.
Who house sits for you when you’re out with your friends without even being asked? Me, because I know how you are about feeling safe and secure considering how high tech your alarm system is.
Who makes sure that your sock and underwear drawers are organized by color, your outfit is laid out on your hope chest, and your toothbrush is ready with toothpaste on it in the morning? I do, baby, because I know that you’re not a morning person and I want to make it easier for you to get ready for work.
Here’s the thing though, pookie: I just want to know that you care about me too.
I mean I know you do.
I guess what I’m trying to say…
Gosh, why am I so nervous…
I just want to take it a step farther.
I think it’s time for us to be together.
Let’s forget about the whole restraining order thing and show society that we can be whoever we want to be.
What do you think?
Will you marry me?