Fucking just need to write, and I wonder what those first five words will seem like when someone comes back to them in forty years and reads this. Will they think I’m mad or happy or crazy or already lost it? I don’t know, can’t know, always I’m pretending to know. And I want to … Continue reading Questions
Humor I Guess…
it's funny it's some kind of joke, a sick, laughing matter- when I think about my romantic hang-ups, I don't think about the anger, the painted pain and numbing drugs; I don't think about the venom, the magical manipulations; I don't think about the pitfall, the sudden drop out of love; I don't think about … Continue reading Humor I Guess…
Grilled Cheese and Love
I used to think that love was a kind of layered, unfolding, blooming function of life, something that you would treat with care; like when you pull a freshly made grilled cheese apart, carefully but intensely; I thought, you could draw out the process as long as you were able; or rather, you would draw … Continue reading Grilled Cheese and Love
Deconstructed II
Me, I will slowly pull myself apart: fingernails, heart, vocal folds, tendons; I will pour my liquids into a bucket: blood, water, stomach acid, urine; I will section and cube myself out, a series of Lego building blocks, multiplying to smaller bits as I focus; the energy in one pile the matter in another; the … Continue reading Deconstructed II
A Scream Echoing from Sleep
When it all comes crashing down, really all comes crashing down, you won't be here. Your son will be in his forties, something will spark and the killing will start, the open forests of our country will darken with blood, small fires will burst from spark, souls will flood abandoned homes they will find their … Continue reading A Scream Echoing from Sleep
Waiting for the Words (time slippage)
Time slips idly by me, as if it were some child shushing, hushing and tip-toeing to the balcony's overlook into the living room, early on some Christmas morning the small toes forgetting the intention of the creep by the excitement of taught, reflective wrapping paper. And I sit, thinking simply about how to express my … Continue reading Waiting for the Words (time slippage)
Morning coffee (worth)
The cup rests softly on the kneeAn image of quiet calmI can see the caffeinated steamrising up along the rimsome is not so brave, some loses itsfaith to flyit pulls itself cool and condensedback to the rimback to the beads that sit undisturbed,Slowly gaining weight,feeling gravity pull on themThe inevitablefallhow it cools the contents of … Continue reading Morning coffee (worth)
Another Apology (and rightfully so)
I am sorryI know that I owe you an apologymy wine stained mind hasenough sense to say,That I know I owe you an apologyat some point I started tofade slowly away from youlike I was Marty McFlytrying to save my own lifeAnd slowly but surely watching myexistence erase and snub outI owe more to you,I … Continue reading Another Apology (and rightfully so)
Losing the Soul
It will leave you too...you think it's a permanent resident,The hole is all carved out,your chest, rare and bloodied,has become a tender testament tothe hollowness of the actions now taken;your heart you keep somewherein the back corner of the crisper,in the refrigerator with the carrotsand a half used, slightly molding, head of iceberg;But let me … Continue reading Losing the Soul
Thinking Inkly: Hoping that the Assumptions Will Pass With the Dying of the Night
I've been trying to find a balance between it all. The work, the work, the play, the writing, the meditation, the feeling of necessity to read more, etc. I think you all know the feeling. The overwhelming weight that presses down on you even when you are doing something that should be shedding that weight. … Continue reading Thinking Inkly: Hoping that the Assumptions Will Pass With the Dying of the Night
